"I need to forget-and laugh"

The title of this post was taken from the book I am reading called, "help me live-20 things people with cancer want you to know" by Lori Hope (title is lower case on book cover). In this chapter the author speaks of  therapeutic humor.  She quotes a cancer survior who says she chose joy. Because much of a cancer patient's days and nights are filled with unpleasent experiences often times including constant pain; emotional and physical this survior found hope in laughter. This survior tells how she felt less fear and anxiety when she was laughing.  She realized that comic distraction made her feel "normal".

Strange, Dad shared on this subject with me just this week when we checked into the hospital for cycle number two.  He said that when people called he wanted the conversation to be normal.  He didn't want to necessarily talk about cancer and treatments and the like.  He just wanted to talk...talk about whatever you'd normally call him and talk about.  So at that moment I knew I needed to take personal note of what he was sharing. I too, even as caregiver, need to remember that Dad is more than the cancer and that I need to treat him kindly, not differently. (subject of another chapter in the book)

Soooo.  I just spoke with him a little while ago.  He is extreamly fatigued. In his words, "wiped out". He says he has felt nothing like this ever before. I told him I bet he couldn't blow a feather away right now-he laughed.  He mentioned that he has trouble sleeping at night.  I offered to call his doctor tomorrow and ask for something that might help him sleep. We then talked about how he has never had trouble sleeping. As a matter of fact he says family use to tell him that he slept too much.  I reminded him that I too have that issue.  We laughed even harder. After a few more memories shared I announced, "Ok Dad, I need to let you get  off the phone so that you can rest.  I know you'll be yourself again in a few days. I'll call you tomorrow. I love you." His response, "I love you too".

Video: Christmas at my house 2006

A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 AMP

Let's Catch Up

Hey fellow Bloggers.  It has been almost a week since I last updated the site. It was a long.....week for Dad and Mom. He stayed on the inside (hospital) until Friday night. It was late when they checked out, but he was determined to go home on Friday and not Saturday.  All went well in the administration of the second cycle treatment.
 I spoke with him on Saturday morning and guess where he was and what he was doing???  You got it!  Outside in his garden picking tomatoes! And I heard he picked one very large tomato!  OK, you know me, I ask the typical spoil all his fun questions...Dad do you have on sunscreen, a hat, and long sleeves? He assured me that he had not been out there long but he did have on a hat.
When I ask, How are you feeling today", he said the usual, "Oh, I feel fine." He actually sounded a little tired to me.  But again fatigue is to be expected after such a heavy dose of chemo.
I did not get to stay the week this time so I feel like I missed a lot.  I'm such the mother hen that some of his nurses even asked about my whereabouts.

Uncle Jack, Dad, Joe, and Sonny
2007

Dad received his regular Neulasta shot this morning. Remember it is given to build white blood cells and is to be administered no sooner than 24 hours after the last dose of chemotherapy is given and more than 14 days before beginning the next chemotherapy cycle. He'll return to his oncologist for a check up on Wednesday of this week.

P.S.  I realize that some of the pics may seem random, but I try to pick those which make Dad smile when I show him the blog. (he usually wants me to print the picture if he doesn't have a copy of it)

The Excursion-Course II

We checked into Karmanos this morning for the beginning of Dad's second treatment cycle.  Dad's labwork looked good.  His hemogolbin was a tad low but they are keeping an eye on it. Overall, as stated before, his doctors are pleased about his general health after the first treatment.  A few issues, but no major side effects.  Dad's hair is even growing back from the low cut he received last week!

This treatment will take the entire week. Two different chemo drugs will be administered this week. (there were three on the first cycle) There is a total of five in all. Dad is in good spirits. He even dressed up this morning for his big event :-) But you know my Dad, unless he's down on the farm in Promise Land, he's always dressed for the occasion.

Dad and Mom Checking in for Cycle No. 2

My trip will probably be cut short this week because Tiffany begins 4th grade on Wednesday.  I could have made her my traveling buddy this trip b/c she's home schooled, but she possesses a tad more energy than I can take when I need to focus on Dad's health matters.

Please keep Dad and Mom in you prayers this week. Post, Post, Post all your wonderful comments.  I'd hate for him to get bored this week since he has no puzzle of Promise Land School.

A Refreshing Moment

Oh my, you won't believe what happened while we were waiting for Dad to get his blood drawn before his appointment on Monday...(I forgot to share this)

There is a large waiting area with at least 40 seats. Then there is a smaller room where the patients retreat for their blood work to be drawn. When we entered the waiting area there were only about 10 people there.  Very unusual for there to be so few. Nonetheless, we noticed a elderly black couple there awaiting their turn.  (you often can't tell who the patient is when you're awaiting 'your turn')

Anyway the male nurse came out and called, "M__. Robertson"! So Dad spoke up and said, "right here". Well, at the same time the elderly couple responded as well, "right here". In that split second we all looked at one another and smiled. We realized that our families had the same surname. The nurse, now realizing that he had caused some bewilderment among this small group, clearly called out, "Mrs. Robertson...Mrs. Hattie Robertson"!!!  At that moment our smiles turned wide... As the elderly woman grabbed her walker to brace herself to stand Mom leaned over and said, "Hattie, that was my husband's mother's name, Hattie Robertson". She responded with a smile as wide as ours, "Well, is that so"?

Anyone of you who knew my Mama Hattie can attest to why this 'refreshing moment' gave all of us a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside.

It's the simple things in life....

My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.  Proverbs 6:20-22

Promise Landers
April 2010

The Update

Praise Be to God Who Always Causes Us To Triumph in His Name ! Praise Him for the good report!

Today we had our first doctor's appointment since the end of the first cycle.  The doctors were pleased/surprised to be able to see how the tumor has shrunk.  (Dad's tumor is 'inside' his chest, however, there is a portion of the tumor which protrudes out.) This part is visibly smaller.  Translation: The tumor is responding to the chemo; it is shrinking!  The doctors mentioned that all his white and red blood cell counts are good, his liver and kidney functions are good. No major side effects...Her words paraphrased- your body withstood the treatment.

This was a BIG DAY!!! Dad also had his barber cut his hair down, waaaay low.  There was evidence that it was beginning to leave... I have to say that he was somewhat apprehensive about this side effect, but he did it.  He even went down in his stock and found a few hats that compliment his new look. We laughed alot.

Dad and Harry ended the day with their normal social-political-economic debate....my life married to a conservative and the daughter of a liberal... Life Is Good.

O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.  Psalm 30:2

Dad's New Look

Up and About

Almost a week since the last chemo was administered and Dad is up and about.  I just spoke with Mom and he is outside with Aaron (Dorian's son) supervising him cutting the lawn.  Like the garden, the lawn is a special project that must receive the 'owners' attention.

Dad and Tiffany

God has truly blessed Dad with a good week.  And for that we are grateful.

Dad and Jana'y

These pictures of Dad and my girls on his motorbike were taken a couple weeks before his treatments began.  You can't keep a good man down!

Aaron, Mr. 4.1 GPA

There are Three of Us

Hi All, I just spoke to Dad.  He is doing OK.  He said today was better than yesterday.  Yesterday was a low energy level day.  He said he felt wiped out all day. But today he could move around a little more. Fatigue from chemotherapy can range from a mild to extreme feeling of being tired.  Often times 'resting' does not help.

I've been trying to think of some simple activities he can do alone or with us while he is gaining his strength back. Dad is funny, we have board games, but he is not interested in those.  I thought about getting a picture of the Promise Land School and Church made into a jigsaw puzzle, but Mom said he told me he didn't want to work a puzzle either (I thought this was for sure a winner)...so, I'm at a loss right now.  Any suggestions, please send your comments.

I speak as often as I can to my two siblings, Natalie and Dorian. They have been a blessing to me.  Although neither can be with Dad like I can right now, they are active in decision making and moral support for Mom and I.
Natalie was able to visit Detroit a few weeks ago.  She and Dorian are my "Aaron" and "Hur".  They uphold my hands when I feel weak, like Aaron and Hur did for Moses.  They keep me encouraged. They are the best intercessors I know, only second to the Queen, our Mom.  Our mother, taught us how to pray, how to stand in the gap and stay on the wall for someone else.

Dorian

Natalie, Yolanda (me), and my grand baby-Leif

And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before Me for the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found none. Ezekiel 22:30

Home Again

God is Good; all the time! We (Dad, Mom, and I) awoke to a beautiful cool Summer morning. Our first night home was uneventful. We were all so glad to be in our own space. It felt like we had been away for months... The first thing Daddy did was go out to his garden.  He had been concerned about the the lack of water it had experienced. But all was well in collard green, cucumber, tomato, and squash land.

Dad in his garden after treatment

We were up early for our 8am appointment at Karmanos. Yes, back there so soon.  24 hours after each treatment Dad has to get a Nuelasta shot to help rebuild new white blood cells. One of the major side effects of chemo is that it doesn't know the good cells from the cancer cells; so it attacks all the cells in an effort to kill the cancer cells. Low white blood cells put you at risk for an infection. It is so very important that we avoid this at all cost.

Soon after our appointment I headed 'home again', to Columbus. I had been there in Detroit since the 22nd of July. The look on the girls faces when they realized it was me pulling into the back yard was priceless! It was so hard to leave Mom and Dad, but it was so good to see my husband and my eaglets.
Harry told me that I would have two in D-town looking out the window waving goodbye and five looking out the window in Columbus in anticipation of my return home. :-)  I AM LOVED!
I slept for 7 hours....

Jana'y and Tiffany: Mommy's Home!

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength...But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40: 29,31

What Am I Reading?

Everything! Everything I can get my hands on concerning Dad's diagnosis. How it is related to other cancers and medical journals with information from those who have studied this disease. Details on every chemothearphy drug administered, side effects of these drugs, etc. etc.
I thank God for the internet. But I am very cautious on the source of information.  However, so much of what the oncologist has told us; Harry and I had already researched online.

Information truly IS Power!   It provided us the knowledge necessary to ask 'informed' questions of his care team.
In times past you depended solely on the doctor and nurses to 'tell you' everything. And all you could do was trust them.  The internet has allowed us to search resources not only locally and nationally, but internationally as well.

I am also reading a book I checked out of the Cancer Resource Center here at Karmanos called "Help Me Live; 20 Things People With Cancer Want You To Know", by Lori Hope.  It talks about what to do and say (or not do and say) when someone you care about has been diagnosed with cancer.

Dad is very interested in knowing the ins and outs of his diagnosis.  He asks questions, and request that I write down the answers so that he can later read it and absorb it at his pace. This really pleases me.  He and Mom are making themselves available to learn all they can about this process towards healing.

Reading is Fundamental.

Hooray! First Cycle Completed

Dad completed his first cycle of chemo last night around 11:12 p.m. !!! Mom and I celebrated.  Dad didn't say much. We all prayed and praised and thanked our God for His awesome mercy and grace.  Dad did not get sick one time. They do medicate you for such things, but some still get nausea. He has also had a very good appetite while here.  Normally he doesn't eat very much at all.  Last night we found out that the steroid in one of the meds probably enhanced his appetite.  Mom and I didn't know what had happened to him, we were beginning to think that Mom had lost her skills in the kitchen and now hospital food tasted better. :-)What ever the reason, we're excited.  He was told by his doctor that he could eat anything b/c they want him to keep his strength and weight up. His first request after being told that was; pork skins. Showing his Tennessee roots...

Harry and Dad - May 2010

I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.  Psalm 120:1-2 NIV

Caregiving

Good morning family and friends, Dad awoke confessing his daily scripture. He listens to a Kenneth E. Hagin Healing Scriptures CD throughout the night. One in particular that he has memorized: "My sickness (cancer) according to Deut 28:61 is a curse of the law, but according to Galatins 3:13 Christ has redeemed me from the curse of the law, therefore I no longer have cancer."

Dad is up and eating breakfast, reading his chemo info book, asking questions about his diagnosis/treatment, and giving me (and Mom) assignments.

He slept so much better last night. They give him a type of steroid to ward off some of the side effects in the chemo, this drug makes him a little 'wired'. So the night before was long. Last night, he slept sound for longer periods. Which in turn allows Mom and I to follow his sleep pattern.




Caregiving: Many of you have admonished us to make sure we take care of ourselves as we care for him. Thank you for thinking of us. (Not that we haven't cared for Dad before with all his heart surgeries, but this somehow seems different, more intense.) I really have to concentrate on taking care of me during this time. Sure, I've had my moments of being overwhelmed, missing home, while trying to keep up with my affairs-long distance. As many of you have experienced, advocating for a loveone can be very draining. You always have to stay 'on the wall', not only spiritually but also in the natural. But this morning I sat back and thought of all the hours my parents have spent providing for me, raising me, caring for me, praying for me (and now my family)...

This, what I'm doing, is just a walk in the park.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I Peter 5:7 NIV

WDKN Interviewing Dad at Promise Land Festival 2010

Comments

Hey family and friends, make sure you go back to the original article you posted your comments to in order to find a response from Dad. 

Thanks

Dad and Mom -This Year Makes 50!

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God.  Philippians 4:6

Excursion-Course I

The word excursion is a synonym of the word journey meaning: a short trip or outing to some place, usually for a special purpose and with the intention of a prompt return. The intention is for Dad to return to good health promptly with God working out His purposes in and through Dad's life. And we all know that God appoints the time. Our timing is not always His. (So Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him. Hebrews 9:28)

Dad, Yolanda, Leif, Natalie, Mom

Dad began his first course (or cycle) of treatment yesterday. Only expecting to be around for a day his oncologist decided to take special care of Dad's heart and drip the chemo slower. So we'll be here a little longer.

Nontheless, Dad is doing great! He woke this morning in the best of moods. He has been talking all morning. Watching his favorite news show, what he calls (CNandN) LOL.

He is right now eating lunch, stir fry chicken, and watching Bonanza.

Family Visits

Me again, just testing with this entry to see if something different comes up at the end of the post for you to leave a comment.

Uncle Hubert, Uncle June, Dad-Then

While I'm here just wanted to thank my Uncle Hubert, Uncle June and Aunt Starlet for visiting Dad last weekend.  It is always so good to see them together. Uncle John could not make it, but said he'd be up here soon. Your visit was priceless to Dad, especially now. We know that our greatest earthly strength will come from our family and friends. Thanks to all of you who have called, sent cards, fruit baskets, planters, and most of all your love and prayers.

Dad, Uncle June, Uncle Hubert-Now

Blog Issues

Good Morning.  I have had several of you mention that you would like to comment on the blog but don't know how.  Well....I'm in the same boat.  Sorry.  I will figure it out and get back to you.  If any of you are proficient, please send me an email with your suggestions.  In the meantime please feel free to email me at yolanda.zellars@yahoo.com.

Dad is doing well.  Reading up on what to expect with chemo.  He loves his garden and has produced some awesome cucumbers.  If you know Dad, he loves a good salad, so I've had plenty since I've been up here.

Dad in the backyard

My husband Harry joined me this weekend.  It was good to see him.  I haven't been home in over a week. (I usually go home every week) I really miss my children:  Sheronda, Marcus, Jana'y and Tiffany. Oh, and our puppy, Prophet. Thanks you guys for holding down the fort.  Harry is a great Mr. Mom :-)
Dad says Hey, and thanks for joining us.

My brethern, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations. James 1:2